She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
