I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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