Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
