You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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