just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
