similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Randomize
