You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
