i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
