new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
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