I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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