Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
