question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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