If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
