Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
