I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
