...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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