So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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