My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
