your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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