Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
