I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
