:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have aggressive nipples.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
