Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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