how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
