He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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