Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
