im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
