Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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