I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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