It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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