haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
