This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
