Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you inspire me to be a worse person
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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