How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
