Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
