How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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