I smell stomach acid.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
your like the ambassador to my penis.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
