you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
