I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
