i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
