you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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