drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
