So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Pooping to opera.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
