problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
