I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
