He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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