On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
