you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
