i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
