just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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